A “revolutionary” (according to their own hype) new streaming service was launched this week in jaw-droppingly decadent, vacuously rhetorical style. It remains to be seen what impact, if any, Jay-Z-owned Tidal will have on the current artist-listener-streaming dynamic. In the meantime: the launch itself was… well, I couldn’t help but live-blog as I watched the layer cake of gross unfold. Read on…
#NowWatching: the #Tidal launch video. #NowLeaking: my brain out my ear.
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Where’s the video player controls? Why can’t I scrub? How long is this? I’m already bored by this chick. #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
She sounds like these guys caught a wave and are now screaming, “We invented surfing!” #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Did #Napster start with a bloated launch party? #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Jack White? Ok. Paradigm shift. #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
This feels like a wrap party, not a launch. What on earth are they congratulating themselves on? Will you tell us, Alicia Keys? #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
“Adidge.” #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
* the only thing I took from all of Alicia Keys’ hype man act was her pronunciation of the word “adage”.
C’mon Kanye, grab the mic! “#Tidal? Fish sticks!” — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Ok, that Kanye call was a bit lazy. I was trying to side-step the more obvious, but no less catty, “I’mma let you finish, but…” – but I really wanted him to do something, anything, to make this entertainment shindig actually entertaining. How decadent is Tidal? Their launch assembles THIS cast on the same stage at the same time, and yet doesn’t even have them perform:
Soundtrack: Radiohead? Really? #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
This may be the most corporate-looking “artist-owned” enterprise I’ve ever seen. #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Fun fact: most of the artists on that stage rose to prominence thanks to the traditional record company system. #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Many of them, as far as I know, are still in it. #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
What is Jay-Z doing right now? Pulling the strings? #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
“Expertly curated playlists”? Hello, New Gatekeepers. #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Who the New Slaves now, Kanye? #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
I don’t know why, looking at this, it seems like I was singling out Kanye. I perhaps failed to communicate just how strange and incongruous I found the sight of Kanye standing on that stage, in that company, and falling in line so obediently. I have time for Kanye; I worked hard (perhaps harder than someone with other things to do should have) to understand some of his recent shenanz, and still couldn’t understand how he felt like he needed permission, approval or help to be heard WHEN WE HEAR HIM ANYWAY – which is, speaking more generally about the whole cast of characters on that stage, what my next tweets were aimed at.
THIS MAKES NO SENSE. #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
These are NOT the disenfranchised artists. These are the guys who break the internet every time they fart. #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Jay-Z already owns Entertainment. #Tidal — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
Dafuq I just watch? #Tidal
— Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
#Tidal launch video = Big Mac sandwich of gross, disingenuous, desperation and hindsight-embarassment-to-come for all involved. #WashMyEyes — Ray Mann (@RayMann) March 31, 2015
I strongly feel like something deeply sinister is happening here. Perhaps I don’t have the ability to articulate just what that something is, or why I feel so strongly about it…
I’ll leave the final word to a mind much greater than mine:
The ghost of Friedrich Nietzsche reviews #Tidal streaming service. http://t.co/5fiqlJ1jNp pic.twitter.com/K6l23WsEYY
— cdmblogs (@cdmblogs) March 31, 2015
Update (22.04.15):
“The numbers don’t lie: Jay-Z’s Tidal music service is already a spectacular flop” – BGR
“bond with your fans in mutual respect as opposed to bitching that you’re poor and you’re gonna save the music business when all you’re really interested in is saving yourself” – Bob Lefsetz
In the meantime: all Ray Mann music is streaming and/or downloadable via iTunes, Spotify, Rdio, Soundcloud, as well as YouTube and Vimeo, and of course this site’s own Music Page.